I’ve been to Amsterdam a couple of times, and I can say, without reservations, the Dutch are lovely people. The Dutch are always very kind and helpful… They all speak English, which is very useful when visiting a country that speaks another language and you don’t know their language. Their country has cute little trademarks, like clogs, chips with mayonnaise, windmills, the Hague, the red light district, hash bars… Those kind of things. I often think of the words to that Katie Melua song… ‘There are nine million bicycles in Beijing,’ and think of words to my own song, like, ‘There are one million bicycles in Amsterdam…’ Only it doesn’t quite flow like her song does, and it’s kind of infringement, copyright and the like. But, it IS a fact, there are one million bicycles in Amsterdam. People cycle EVERYWHERE in Amsterdam! I’d be more worried about being run down by a cyclist than I would a motorist or a tram in Amsterdam. Only they have bells on their crappy ol’ bikes in Amsterdam and they aren’t afraid to use them to let you know they are coming and to get out of their way. They’re not aggressive about it though, they don’t ring the bell then yell obscenities at you if you don’t get out of the way, they just ring their bell again, not even insistently. They are very mellow people.
Apparently there is a reason for all the old looking crappy bikes in Amsterdam as well, bike theft is rampant, so everyone has shoddy, similar looking old bikes. If you had something flashy, it would most certainly get stolen. Mind you, that’s not painting a great picture of the Dutch, as bike stealers, but I reckon it’s not actually other Dutch people that steal the bikes. Amsterdam is a big city, there are all walks of life there.. And I mean ALL walks of life there. There is some story that the Dutch tell you about all the bikes too.. Something about German occupation during WWII and the Germans stealing the Dutch people’s bikes and how they want them back or something like that.. I won’t get into why I only partially know that story or how I possibly just made it up. I digress…
So, what I don’t understand, after having been to Amsterdam a couple of times and witnessing how lovely and mellow the Dutch people are… Why are there so many derogatory terms referring to the Dutch? ‘Going Dutch,’ ‘Double Dutch,’ ‘Dutch Courage,’ ‘Dutch Oven.’ What have the Dutch ever done to the rest of the world to make them sound like they are miserly, incomprehensible drunks who fart under the covers then pull the covers over their partner’s head? Do the Dutch just not care that there are these derogatory terms about them? Are they that mellow? Or have they been spending too much time in their own hash bars?? I just don’t understand why there are these terms out there and why there isn’t a retaliation from the Dutch over them? I mean, they still want their bikes back from the Germans from 60+ years ago.. Do they not want their good name back from the rest of the world?
I think the Dutch should come up with their own derogatory terms about other nationalities in retaliation, more fitting to the terms themselves. Like, ‘Going Jewish’ ‘Double Scotch’ (not on the rocks), ‘Irish Courage’ and a ‘French Oven’ (they don‘t call them stinky French for nothing). Seriously, the Dutch just need to get out of their hash bars, go put their orange clogs on, arm themselves with their bike bells and go get their bikes back from the Germans. Yes, the Dutch can get liquored up, give the Germans one miserly ring of the bike bell as warning, yell incomprehensibly at them, then sit on them and fart in their faces… That should do the trick.
